Houston Day 147 - "No day but today"

Last night we went to see Idina Menzel perform with the Houston Symphony.  It was at Jones Hall, the Symphony's concert hall, which is an amazing, impressive venue.  So impressive vertically that we exhausted ourselves walking up about eight flights of stairs to get to our seats in the balcony.
The first half (much shorter than a half, really) was dedicated to the orchestra, and they did four pieces - "Baba Yaga", "Funky Chicken", "Javelin" (written for the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra for the 96 Atlanta Olympics) and "Ride of the Valkyries". I really enjoy orchestral music, and I think we're definitely going to go back to see them! They do a lot of pops stuff as well as classical repertoire.  In a few weeks they're screening The Matrix while they play the soundtrack live.
Idina came out after interval, in a stunning dress, and bare feet.  She sang songs from Glee, and Rent, and Wicked, and The Wild Party, as well as other shows she hasn't been in, and just other random songs she likes, and did lots of patter in between.  Gosh, it must take a lot of self-confidence to just talk and tell stories to thousands of people who've paid at least $50 a pop and not stop halfway through to go, "why the hell am I still talking? I'm sure no one cares".  But she was really funny, and her stories were really interesting.  She also sang some of the songs she and her husband make up to sing to their little son.....backed by this eighty-piece orchestra!
Two of her songs were the highlights of the night for me.  She sang "No Day But Today" from Rent, and later on did "Tomorrow" from Annie as an encore.  I never thought that song from Annie could make me cry, but think about an adult person offering it as a song of hope when she knows that hope is often desperately needed....
"When I'm stuck with a day that's grey and lonely
I just stick out my chin and grin and say,
The sun'll come out tomorrow..."
It was simple, and beautiful.
"No Day But Today" really struck a chord with me as well.  I seriously spend a lot of my time worrying about what I will regret in the future.  At the moment I'm stuck in this angst about my career: what if I never make it? what does making it even mean? when will I be satisfied? what if we have kids and I have to sacrifice my career to them? what if we don't have kids and I regret that? And yet, whilst you can do some things in terms of choices and education (and birth control!), you really can't control your destiny.  The guy who wrote that song died the day before the show opened.  One day he was there, so excited to be working on his first professional show, and the next day he wasn't and the team had to put the show on without him, and his death in a way became a part of the story.  He was in his thirties and no one saw it coming.
So many people who have satisfying, meaningful careers, including my own parents, and a guy named Lafayette who I met at the Opera this week, couldn't have planned them that way from the start.  So many people who have satisfying careers, including Idina Menzel, have times of unemployment and despair and self-doubt.  Since the concert I've had "No day but today" ringing in my head, and I want to let go of the future and the past and live in the now, because I suspect that is what will be most fulfilling.  If today is my only day, I am filling it with art and people.  Hold me to this challenge, please.
Check out the youtube link below if you have no idea what I'm talking about.

Houston Day 145

Just a quick post while I'm procrastinating.  Learning lines is so boring, it's the least favourite part of any job.  But, holy mother of god, we're performing tomorrow.  Gah! So Express still haven't found themselves a Tom for The Adventures of Tom & Huck, so tomorrow we're doing an excerpt from the show that will pretty much just be an adventure of Huck and his friends.....
Yesterday I woke up and was sad to not be going to work at the Opera (I don't go back there til next week).  Funny, for a job that I was thinking would just be something to get me out of the house and meeting new people, it's actually really enjoyable! Funny story...they have such a clear chain of command that no one gets to move props except the props crew.  So the other lightwalker was instructed to move a chair and then someone yelled "don't touch it! Props, we need you to come and move a chair!" and she had to wait until the props crew came onstage to move this chair for her before she could sit in it.
Ok, I'm going now to learn my lines.  And at some point I need to finish this video submission to a prospective agent.  I gave myself that goal while I didn't have any work, and now I've got stacks of work and no time to finish the video!

Houston Day 143

Idina Menzel is performing with the Houston Symphony Orchestra weekend! Hurrah! And I can get cheap tickets because of one of the theatre mailing lists I'm on! Hurrah! This is the kind of thing I was looking forward to about living in the U.S.  :) (It's just occurred to me that some of my readers might not know who Idina Menzel is.  She was the original Maureen in RENT on Broadway, the original Elphaba in Wicked and she does guest spots as Rachel's birth mom on Glee.  Less well-known credits include Kate in Andrew Lippa's The Wild Party.)
Things are going pretty well at the moment.  We continue to enjoy cycling around the neighbourhood, and did the Heights Bicycle Rally a couple of weekends ago with Scott and Maggie and some of their friends.  It was twenty miles around the Heights and downtown, answering riddles and clues about things as we went.
But the main reason things are going well is that I am really busy! I have five half-days of work this week and next with the Houston Grand Opera as a Lightwalker.  If you've ever been through the process of tech for a theatre show, you know there are times when you just need bodies on stage using the props and interacting with the set so that you can see how the light falls on them and tweak them just right.  Well, Houston Grand Opera has so much money they can afford to pay people to be those bodies, allowing the rest of the tech army to do their jobs.  People sometimes use the cast for that, but a) the cast are more expensive if you're paying people, b) the cast have better things to do like rehearsing or resting between rehearsals and c) the cast often confuse the tech process with them rehearsing on the stage and try to make it about them.
My job with Express Children's Theatre has also finally gotten off the ground.  For I while I really felt like they were screwing around with me, calling me at the eleventh hour for rehearsals which never happened.  But we had an honest-to-god rehearsal yesterday, which was really fun, and the guest director, who has worked with them a lot before, said that this was unusual for them in her experience, which gives me confidence.  Two other people have been cast at the last minute, and it's really refreshing working with professionals.  They both slipped into their roles so easily, and the Music Director is so brilliant he just writes the harmonies as he goes, and we got two songs off the ground and sounding great in about fifteen minutes.  I'm still a little wary, but as I get to know these people more I think I'll trust them more.

Houston Day 132 - Go Cats!

Fall is here, and I am wearing jeans for the first time since May! Both the temperature and the humidity have dropped significantly, and it's really lovely to be outside.  The mornings and evenings are cool but not cold, and the daytime is sunny and hot, but temperate enough to actually enjoy being outside for more than a couple of minutes.
Lucas and I went on a bike ride together for the first time ever last night! We rode about twenty minutes to a restaurant we hadn't been to before, then felt awkward coz we got there and realised we had underdressed.  Then later on in the evening we went to a pub called the Firkin & Phoenix, where they were playing the AFL Grand Final.  It was such a fun night! They had Aussie food on the menu (sausage rolls & sauce, yummy yummy), and Cooper's & Boag's in specially (still cheaper by the bottle than you would get it at a bar in Melbourne), and there were so many Australian accents - lots of fun.  It was totally packed with rabid expats, including at least a few vocal Collingwood supporters...although you could pick them before they even opened their mouths :) Nice to be immersed in something good and Australian, although I think if it had been something Australian that I really care about (like the Melbourne Fringe Festival or something, not just the footy!) it would have been too much on the homesickness front.  And I also thought, you know what? I'm glad I'm watching this here and not in Australia, because I do have that sense of feeling richer for having lived in a different place.  During the national anthem, all the Aussies stood up and put their hands on their hearts - it made me smile to think that they'd obviously been overseas long enough to miss their country, because they wouldn't be caught dead doing that back home.

Houston Day 131

Yesterday was a much better day because I had stuff to do! A while ago I got in touch with a voiceover coach here in Houston and yesterday morning he helped me record a demo.  It was really fun.  I also did some accent work and recorded one of the spots in an American accent, and one in an English accent.  I'm thinking about getting a website together, so maybe you'll see it up there sometime soon.  John (the coach) was also talking to me about maybe getting into voiceovers for anime; apparently the U.S. hub for anime is in Dallas and he goes up there fairly regularly for recording sessions.
In the afternoon I had my second shift at Hope Stone.  I checked in the little kids for their creative movement class, assisted in/participated in the drumming class (such a bonus to just get to learn a fun new thing as part of this job!), and then taught the theatre class.  Gayla, the main theater teacher, called at the last minute to ask if I'd be happy to teach by myself because she had to go to a last-minute rehearsal for a dance show she is stage managing.  It was pretty fun!
So that's the challenge: just get some stuff to do! Auditions have slowed down for a little while, and Sound of Music, Express Children's Theatre and Hope Stone between them all aren't keeping me busy enough.  Am seriously thinking about going to grad school; there are some really good universities here in Houston. 

Houston Day 129 - some self-pitying whining

...and we're back in the land of despair.  Not really sure what the point of my life is, not really sure who I am, not really sure what I want to do, and often being blocked or disappointed when I do pursue things I want.  I alternate between feeling really bright and excited about everything I've got going on here, and realising I actually have very little going on here.  But if you tell me I'm just being aimless and I need to get a real job, I'll punch your face in.  I wish I had a real job, and I feel like a massive failure for not having a bright sparkly promising career like so many friends my age have.  And what on earth am I supposed to do? I know it's not strictly true, but I feel like the things I'm interested in and good at aren't really employable.  I'm so ashamed of myself.  And I don't want to be a stay-at-home mum.  I suspect getting pregnant just coz you're bored isn't the best life-choice.
I'm so unhappy here, but I remember my life back in Melbourne and realise that towards the end of my time there, I wasn't really happy there either, and I was just hanging out for this fresh start in America.  It makes me feel like I don't belong anywhere.  I'm just hoping that with a combination of time and effort, I can outrun the huge black hole for periods of time.  And as Janet says, I haven't been here for nine months yet; I haven't birthed my Houston "baby".

Houston Day 128

So I'm finally beginning to feel a bit better.  Yesterday I rode my new bicycle for the first time! I am hilariously awkward when starting, and when negotiating left turns in traffic, but it was fun.  I think I'm going to have to cycle to work on Thursday, which I'm a bit nervous about.  Also went to ballet class last night.  It totally wrecked me.  Hopefully I'll start getting some fitness back soon!
Tonight I'm going to the second rehearsal for a community theatre production of "The Sound of Music".  I'm just in the chorus, which means that I get to sing all that glorious churchy choral music that the nuns sing.  I think the last time I got to sing with a big group of people on stage was two years ago in "The Gondoliers".  Looking forward to it!