Houston Day 747 - Three Reasons I'm Better Than You

Reasons I'm Better Than You, Or, The Superior Expat

Gosh, May just fell off the blog radar.  Too much time in theaters playing Ms Frizzle and witches to find the energy to blog!
But during May, I also caught myself playing the role of the Superior Expat a lot.  If you haven't met these wonderful people, you should know that they're the ones who show up in the following situations.  You're standing around the water-cooler (or tour van, or theater lobby), just shooting the breeze, talking about your friend's schooling, or the current state of politics, or your favorite food, or whatever, and the Superior Expat reveals themselves.  They take off their hood of silence (which you preferred), clear their throat, prepare you for some weighty contribution to the conversation, which turns out to be:

Well, none of these problems would happen in my home country.

And they're off.
I know the Superior Expat is annoying when she shows up a bit too frequently, especially without taking the time to appreciate the country she chose to move to, but in my defence, here are a few reasons why my country is better than yours.

1. 

   Our Prime Minister: I actually do think she's a classy bird

   Homesickness. 

   It's as simple as that.  "Out of the fulness of the heart, the mouth speaks", and if I keep in the forefront of my mind how bogan our classy Prime Minister's accent is ("woi the Ustrailian poiple"), how beautiful the Great Ocean Road looks on a sunny day, and how glorious it is that I don't have to worry about medical bills thanks to Medicare for every Australian citizen, I won't forget who I am or where my home and the people I love are.

2. Tall Poppy Syndrome.  

   Australians have a special place of hatred reserved for those who are, or claim to be, or are perceived to be claiming to be, better than them.  (US readers: The name comes from the desire to cut down a poppy that is taller than the rest so that the field looks even.  It probably comes from our convict past.)  So when I talk to Americans who, perhaps because they travel less than Australians (partly because they can't afford to without that socialised economy), think that their government/society/economy/ideology is the best/only/bees'-knees way of running things, I cannot help myself.  I cut down that giant poppy and stuff it in my mailbox. 
   
   

   “Patriotism is, fundamentally, a conviction that a particular country is the best in the world because you were born in it." - George Bernard Shaw

   And yes, I know that it's working both ways.  I'm just showing my patriotism by cutting down yours.  It's the Australian way.  (Or, as Julia Gillard might put it, "the Ustrailian woiaey".)

3.  It's the Thing I Have to Offer.  

   I learned pretty quickly that as a foreigner, often your defining characteristic is that you are a foreigner.  (My name to some employees both at Houston City Dance and at Houston Grand Opera is "Miss Australia".)  It can mean that you are perceived as interesting and exotic and sexy, or it can just mean that you have no idea about those old commercials/children's storybooks/quintessential American experiences that the conversation is revolving around.  It can also mean that you don't know how to order in certain chain restaurants (something I'm still having trouble with).  So in order to either play up to my exotic foreigner image, or just keep up with the conversation, I have to resort to telling you about the Kellogg's Crunchy Nut ads/Blinky Bill/gap years working in a London pub (which I never even did).

So please forgive me if I play the Superior Expat a little too often, and I will try to learn to just appreciate this great country a little more.  Especially given that we've just decided to stay here at least another three years, during which time I will have the opportunity to become an American citizen, with all the bitching rights (I mean, freedom of speech) that entails.  Enfranchisement, here I come!

P.S.  Macbeth has its preview show on tonight! Come out and support great theatre in Houston!