Lucas has started work and I'm BORED. It's not that I don't have things to do. I have an audition in three days that could do with some more prep. There are a great gym and pool in our apartment complex. There is a lot more exploring to do outside. I have people to call and email. But I always get this way whenever I have unscheduled time and I'm home alone. I eat crap and watch telly. And there's a station that runs America's Next Top Model nonstop. So guess how I've spent most of today. Although, I did do a little singing practice and go to the gym. But, I confess, there's a TV in the gym so I watched more Top Model while I was stepping away on the stepping machine. (Brief digression: I love exercise. I love going to the gym. Man, if my teenaged self could hear me now I would accuse myself of being a traitor to the "I believe that everyone who runs secretly hates it as much as I do" school. You've just got to do some exercise and hate it for a while first before you get fitter and actually start enjoying it.) Ooh, I also read a bit. I've finished Point Counter Point by Aldous Huxley, which is a brilliant novel, and I've started Why Christianity Must Change or Die by Bishop Spong. Haven't read much Spong but I think he might be my kind of guy. Made me think: he says that "I speak to those who have been taught that to engage in worship requires that they never raise questions". Funny thing is, I don't know any Christians who have actually been taught that in so many words. Before I started questioning my way out of Christianity I believed that I was a thinking believer. Part of the reason why it's so horrible to try and describe the difference between my new and old selves (which is a slightly artificial dichotomy, I know), and between my Christian friends and me, is that I/they genuinely believe/d that labels like "unquestioning" and "narrow-minded" didn't/don't apply. It's just that the questions hadn't led to a certain place yet (how exactly do you describe that place?), and for some people they never will. Discuss. And please see "Editor's Comment [Day 12]".
Anyway, there you go. Trash TV, binge eating and spiritual reflection. The glamourous world of international travel.
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