I had a brilliant audition last night for a new show called "Death, the Musical". I sang great and my monologue was funny and I sensed that the two guys on the panel were pretty impressed. But I didn't even get a callback. The sense of failure is mounting. What the hell am I doing with my life? I'm meeting new people all the time here and I feel ashamed every time someone asks me what I do. I know that actors often have even up to a couple of years between jobs. I'm just not sure if I'm good enough to call myself an actor. I feel like I haven't earned my unemployment. Although it did lift my spirits a little the other day to prepare my tax return and note that I earned enough money to support myself in the last financial year. It's so funny, I'm usually so against income being the only symbol of success. But I'll take anything I can get!
We also went to a pool party at Scott and Maggie's yesterday. That was fun. For the first time since we got here I felt like it was summer. Not because it's not hot (see previous post) but because I haven't felt any of the fun holiday feelings that go along with summer. Then I got confused as to why it wasn't Christmastime.
Now this week...I have a schedule of audition prep and singing practice planned. Do I even bother? Or do I start reading career change books?
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